“An old cowboy song celebrates home on the range, where deer and antelope play, but anyone who has seen deer and antelope knows that when they are frolicking they scarcely look where they are flinging their hooves, which is why cowboys have been pummeled almost to extinction.”
— Lemony Snicket
“Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.”
— Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy
“Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.”
— Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy
“‘You’re just in time to see the accident.’
‘It’s not an accident,’ Violet said. ‘You’re doing it on purpose!’
‘Let’s not split hairs,’ the foreman said, using an expression which here means ‘argue over something that’s not at all important.’”
‘It’s not an accident,’ Violet said. ‘You’re doing it on purpose!’
‘Let’s not split hairs,’ the foreman said, using an expression which here means ‘argue over something that’s not at all important.’”
— A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Miserable Mill (Lemony Snicket)
(Source: petrang)
“There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them. It is difficult to hide an airplane, for instance, because you generally need to find a deep hole or an enourmous haystack, and sneak the airplane inside in the middle of the night, but it is easy to hide a secret about an airplane, because you can merely write it on a tiny piece of paper and tape it to the bottom of your mattress any time you are at home. It is difficult to hide a symphony orchestra, because you usually need to rent a soundproof room and borrow as many sleeping bags as you can find, but it is easy to hide a secret about a symphony orchestra, because you can merely whisper it into the ear of a trustworthy friend or music critic. And it is difficult to hide yourself, because you sometimes need to stuff yourself into the trunk of an automobile, or concoct a disguise out of whatever you can find, but it is easy to hide a secret about yourself, because you can merely type it into a book and hope it falls into the right hands.”
— Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival
